![]() ![]() Sometimes just saying it out loud is enough to defuse the situation. I’m lucky my sister will listen to the most outrageous stories, judgement free. You may also have someone in your life who you can bounce your SFD off. Brené mentions that if you're mortified at the thought of someone finding your SFD because it's blamey, pissy, immature and a full on rant, then you’ve done well. Writing down your SFD can be a great way to objectively look at what's going on before taking action. ![]() It turns out we can do both at the same time - just as well. He understands the whole story of going from ‘building permit’ to ‘University testing facilities’, I don’t. It also gave Matt a chance to explain his perspective and actions. ![]() ‘The story I’m telling myself.’ is powerful because it acknowledges the fears but doesn’t let them lead the charge in the conversation. This was way more productive than my normal - WHAT ARE YOU DOING MATT!! Approaching the conversation with “The story I’m telling myself is that you are creating a way more work for yourself and it will affect how quickly we can build our house”. From my understanding we just needed to get a building permit. When he started talking to universities about product testing and then mentioned perhaps getting a grant, I had to take a moment and gather my thoughts.įrom my perspective he’s gone way further down a really expensive and time consuming path than what I had envisioned. Knowing that we all write SFD, it can be helpful to acknowledge them openly.įor example the last couple of weeks Matt has been working on the next steps for building our house. The downside is that it has probably caused us to overreact, jump to conclusions and beat ourselves up way more than we needed to. In caveman times this was a necessary survival skill - recognising fresh predator tracks and filling in the story gap with - hmm, looks like a big cat has been here recently, we should probably put an extra man on watch tonight is why we have survived as a species as long as we have. In Dare to Lead by Brené Brown she explains that when it comes to our emotions, the SFD is our fears and insecurities romping all over the place, making up worst case scenarios. The first draft is the child’s draft, where you let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later” “The only way I can get anything written at all is to write really, really shitty first drafts. The idea comes from Anne Lamott’s book on writing Bird by Bird: These are our ‘Shitty First Drafts’ or SFD’s. Regardless of the accuracy of the story, we are compelled to complete it. Stories are patterns and our brain rewards us for clearing up ambiguity. Our brains reward us with a dopamine hit when we recognise and complete patterns (the ‘aha’ moment). Even when we don’t have access to all of the facts, the urge to complete the story pattern (beginning, middle, end) is so strong that we will fill the story gaps rather than leave the story unfinished. Making up stories is how our brains process information and make sense of the world. ![]()
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